In Unlocking Your Family Patterns, Dr. Henry Cloud, Dave
Carder, Dr. Earl Henslin, and Dr. John Townsend explained the path to healing
and overcoming your family hurts. Each chapter of the book is written by one of
the four authors. The book explored the dynamics of David, Isaac, Jesus, and
their family trees. For example, David slept with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba. She
becomes pregnant with David’s child. He ordered his army to pull back in the
battle lines. Uriah is killed and Bathsheba loses the baby. David’s son Amnon
raped his own sister Tamar. David doesn’t comfort the issue of what happened to
his daughter and it wasn’t discussed and dealt with. Absalom eventually kills
Amnon. You have to handle the issues in your life or they get passed to the
next generation. The authors proved that they are many things to learn about
healing from our pasts. History repeats itself unless we deal with the major issues.
Families pass on the concepts of “Don’t Talk”, “Don’t Feel”, and “Don’t Trust”
to multiple generations if the cycle isn’t broken. The book also contains
discussion questions at the end of each chapter.
I have to say that with the book being written by four different
authors they did a wonderful job of tying the material together in a helpful
way. This book has immensely taught me the lessons that I don’t want to pass
down to my kids. I see the need to heal from the past where I can move forward.
I would highly recommend this helpful book to everyone. I am starting to see
the traits that my family has taught me through the years. I learnt the
different levels of bonding in relationships. I tend to stay in level two which
is the level where people discuss events but you don’t share too much about
things you’re going through. Walling yourself in and keeping a safe distance
from others doesn’t help you achieve the intimacy in relationships that you
need. The boundaries chapter also greatly opened my eyes. I have a difficult
time saying no especially to family members! I would always feel the need to carry
their problems and do things I didn’t want to do out of guilt. I also had the feelings
that I was being selfish if I didn’t help them. I realize I’m not setting
proper boundaries in the places they need to be placed. I found out I was
codependent and not choosing how I want to live my life. The chapter about
growing into adulthood was another area that I saw that I struggled with. I was
feeling one down to other peers and I always thought I couldn’t ever compare to
them. I thought they were so much higher up than me. I am starting to go
through the process of achieving adulthood! This book really was an enormous
life changing book for me. It exposed me to the truth and revealed to me the
issues I haven’t seen before. If you’re struggling to heal from your past
family hurts then read this book! If you don’t want to repeat something that
happened in your family then pick up a copy of this book. It will help you to
step forward without letting the pains from your past control your family and
the next generation of your family!
“I received this book free from the publisher
through the Moody Publishers book review bloggers program.”
If
you would like to purchase a copy of Unlocking
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1 comments:
This seems to be a great book and I completely agree with stopping family patterns or as some would say "generational curses" because if they don't stop with us then we'll definitely pass them on and the outcome will be worse and worse as the generations evolve!!! ;-)
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