In Real Men, Don’t Text, Ruthie and Michael Dean has written an excellence book to guide readers into the new principles of dating in the modern world. With the increasing technology advances, this has allowed text messages to become the common method for men to ask woman to go out on a date. This has permitted men to become extremely passive in displaying their interest in a girl. As we all know, texting and social media isn’t a real connection with the person, we are talking to. But many people are settling for texted based communication, because it’s easier and you’re losing how to actually conduct a conversation with others. Like most people, I am sure, you have had trouble determining if that person is really into you and wants to get to know you. How many of us have been confused as to what that text message even meant.
This book takes a strong stand against women responding to text messages for late minute date plans. Ruthie and Michael Dean suggested that women must begin to set clear boundaries about how men are supposed to pursue them. They advised that woman should turn down dates from men who ask them out on dates through text messages. Couples need to also limit how much they text each other and be more focused on creating more face-to-face relationships. This is not saying that you can’t ever text each other, their point is that there should be more configuration on building a relationship in person. An important note that they pointed out was, if he refuses to call you, then he isn’t that passionately interested in you. Countless women constantly make excuses as to why it’s okay if he just wants a text relationship and he declares that he hates talking on the phone. Really, more than likely, he is talking to other girls and texting allows him the capability for him to do so.
The book also contained the lies that men will use to get women into bed and seduce them to have sex with them. This section is one of my most important chapters that will impact women and teach them the lines guys will use. Two of the most common lies that I believe men use are, “if you love me, you would sleep with me” and “I have needs, and sex is one of them” (Page 55). I especially loved how transparent Michael was in sharing that he remained a virgin for twenty-nine years and he survived. Sex isn’t also a need, you can wait until marriage. The book also goes into more details about other lies men will use in order to lure you into engaging in sex.
One of my favorite chapters was, “Real Women Give Nice Guys a Chance”. I loved how the authors explained to women the real aspect of not just looking for chemistry as the prime reason for staying in a dead end relationship. Because chemistry eventually wears off. They described the significance of seeking a connection build on someone who truly understands and cares about you more than themselves. I also enjoyed the facet of establishing nonnegotiables in what you’re looking for in a future spouse. This section will incredibly assist women (and men) who are having trouble deciding what they are searching for in a mate. I also appreciated how the authors revealed that bad boys aren’t always the best choices for relationship partners, you have to realize that you aren’t going to change him and make him a nice boy.
In my own dating life, I have women that refused to talk on the phone and text was the only way they would connect. I have also received a sexting picture from a girl when I didn’t ask her for one. I have received text messages that have scared me to death, such as, I had this one girl that stated that she would be a good mother and she wanted a ring by Christmas. Needless to say, I’m not engaged and I ended that. I have also had an engaged woman hitting on me and texting me and made me feel uncomfortable and was inviting me over for drinks. I even had a nice text message inviting me over to come cuddle at 12 A.M. and she wanted friends with benefits. I walked away and decided to save myself for my future wife. This book hit home to me to be a better man and to set standards that if they don’t want to talk on the phone ever than what makes me think, they will want to communicate in marriage when storms arise!
I would recommend this life changing resource to every single woman, whether you are young or old. I would also suggest that men need to read this book to learn the effects our actions are having on women. It’s also important to notice how we are contributing to the epidemic of men, becoming too passive in pursuing a girl we are interested in. One of the biggest things, I learned was the critical position on not accepting dates via text messages. I powerfully believe that this book will impart women with the knowledge and the perilous in our new dating world. Yes, if you follow this book’s advice, you won’t be popular and the world may look down on you for your stance on dating, but your worth and value will be everlasting! Ladies, you are worth more than a last minute text date and a one night stand or a hookup. I immensely loved the dramatic team that Ruthie and Michael Deal, as husband and wife, wrote to influence women and the compassion they had on reminding women that they deserve more, that they are valuable, and nice guys still exist. I loved how the authors shared their love story with their readers and encouraged single people to keep hoping, believing, and let God write your love story like He molded theirs together. This is one thing that I am learning more of each day. I highly recommend that if you are single that you get a copy of this book, and read the insights presented! Your dating life just might change!
“Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book.”
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