Stop Bullying! Speaking Up! My Survivor Story

I submitted my story on bullying to The Bully Suicide Project. They have accepted it and posted it on their Facebook page. So check it out!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4481396&id=221347206120

Andrew Smith, 20, College Student

1. Tell Me About Yourself (What are you hobbies, beliefs, likes, etc... )

My name is Andrew Smith. I am 20 years old. My favorite hobbies are reading, riding four-wheelers, listening to music, writing, playing guitar, watching TV, hanging out with my family and friends, and just being myself. I am a Christian who believes in God. My faith has helped me through my life. I also like to play video games with my friends. I love to sing karaoke on the Wii console.

I am attending college and loving every minute of it. I hope to become a writer and maybe a Bible teacher one day. I hope my story can impact kids, who are being bullied. I love listening to Joyce Meyer every single day.


2. Tell Me About Your Personality

My personality is I am quiet and straight to the point. I have been born and raised country. I talk when I have something to say. I like to laugh and have some fun.


3. Tell Me About the First Time you remember being bullied (where, how you felt, the names, you were called, how you dealt with it)

I remember being bullied in Elementary School. I was a very quiet and shy kid in school. I wouldn’t talk to my teachers at all. They would try to convince me to open up and talk. But I wouldn’t. The teachers had no idea that I was being bullied by a girl. This girl would pick on me daily like clockwork. She was relentless in her pursuit in controlling me. She would take my things like my pens, pencils, and anything she could get her hands on in class. I remember one day, two girls started picking on me during recess. It started when the main girl got another girl to join in kicking me in the shin. They both pushed and kicked me. I was on a hill and both of the girls continually kicked me over and over again. The teachers didn’t even see them kicking me. I don’t know if the hill was too high and the teachers didn’t see it or what happened. I wouldn’t talk to them. My parents knew about most of the bullying, but since I wouldn’t open up my mouth in school. The teachers couldn’t do anything, since they didn’t see anything happening. I was so afraid to speak out of fear of being harmed.

Another way is I had a high girly voice during Elementary, Middle, and even some High School. My voice didn’t change until the second year of high school. I was called names like gay and fag. I am straight. One guy posted and told me online that it was because of the way I talked and acted.


4. Names you have been called

Gay, Fat, Fag, Bi, Handwriting messy, Walk Funny, Weird, Never talk, Random


5. Tell Me About how bullying has effected you

Bullying and name calling made me not to be able to trust other people. I was afraid to stand up to them and tell someone. Why get close to them, if they are only going to tell me how to be. People wanted me to be a certain way all the time. It was never enough for them to approve of me. I believed that lie and their lies. It was hard for me to make friends at school. It made me want to be “safe”. It was a longing to be liked by my peers. I would also try to be someone I wasn’t to be accepted.


6. Have you thought about suicide? If so, what did you do about it.

I have thought about suicide. I thought I was worth nothing. I didn’t know what love was. I had a false sense of love in me. I didn’t like myself for a lot of years. I had a deep shame base in me. I didn’t try to ever kill myself, but I have thought it.


7. What are ways you have dealt with suicidal thoughts?

I had to learn to heal from my wounds. My pain has become my message. God always loves me and always approves of me no matter what I do. I can’t change his love for me. I may not always perform perfectly, but he always forgives me.


8. What makes you a survivor?

I am a survivor who was picked on throughout his life. I was always in fear and afraid to speak up, and this is a huge honor and accomplishment that I am able to share my story with you. I didn’t let their comments and abuse control and define me. I didn’t let them change who I am. I had to not let them tear me down anymore. My life was worth living freely. I have a right to stand up and open my mouth. I don’t have to live in fear or being rejected or abused.


9. What is your message of hope to the person just like yourself?

I want to tell kids, teens, and adults to love who they are. Don’t let people’s comments and approvable define and change who you were meant to be. God made you to be special the way you’re meant to be. It doesn’t matter if people say hurtful things about you. They don’t make it the truth about you. You are; who you are. Don’t change because someone thinks you’re too big or too small. If you can’t play sports like they can. If they call you gay because you’re voice is different and high and you’re a guy. Maybe you’re a girl and they make fun of you because of your weight. Their comments don’t make you; who you are. Be the way; you want to be! Being yourself is good enough; don’t let anyone tell you different. Don’t you dare believe their lies, not for a second, or a day, or even a minute! If you are being kicked or picked on stand up and tell someone! If that person doesn’t listen, hold your head up high and tell someone who will listen. Parents, school professions, and bullying hotline numbers are a great start. Just stand up for yourself and tell someone please.


10. The quote that you live by today because of your experience is....

“Difficult situations, ones that are hard to bear, are the ones that give you strength to soar, so do not run away from them. “ Joyce Meyer

“I don't wanna spend the rest of my life And wonder why the world passed me by While I wasn't lookin' or laughing Gonna cut loose from all these chains Turn 'em into a fist full of reigns And ride out cause now there's no doubt Everyday I'm alive you can bet that I’m gonna shine.” Jo Dee Messina - Shine

Here is a CBS Video showing The Bully Suicide Project :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De89lMG7pOM