Andrew Smith's Blog

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Hurts By Rejections

Rejection effects most people at least one point in their lives. But more than likely, we go through rejection a lot every single day. I have suffered rejection from peers, family members, strangers, and just every day people. We all have been looked at funny with that look that says, “You’re not worth my time.” Just look at people you meet on the street. Some of them are so shy and quiet they hardly talk. Yep, you guess it that's me. I have always been controlled by what people think of me. What should I wear, what should I eat, what should I drink, what should I say, what shouldn't I say, how will I sound, how do I look. I know I'm a guy. But I have been struck with criticism my whole life. I compare myself to other people. I know we all thought wow I wish I had that personality. I wish I could look like that.

In our world today, the models and celebrities look so perfect and flawless. It's called Photoshop; let's just paint over that flaw. But the flaws make us not look like everyone else. If you haven't noticed, no one looks like you; or me for that matter. I know, you're thinking that might be a good thing. But we had to deal with the issue of why we feel so different.

Jessica Simpson was one of the first people, I wrote about in my first blog. She was getting make fun of by a pair of jeans she wore. Which, she looks fine in might I add. Heck, I wear the wrong thing sometimes too. But maybe that's just me. Now, she has a show out called "The Price of Beauty". The show purpose is to show the True Beauty of different countries. Some of the ways are crazy and some are way different than America. The second episode showed a girl who was a model in Paris. She went through an eating disorder called anorexic. She had to weigh a certain amount to be a model. The concept of the show is a great idea.

We think we have to be tan and weigh a certain amount to look good. I am all for being healthy; however, you need to be you. You have got to love yourself. Yes, you make mistakes. But it's never too late to turn around.

Jessica Simpson also has a great theme song for The Price of Beauty. The words in the song include: "I have to take control So much is left untold Trying to find myself At times its hard to know Who we are, we are, we are Words can cut so deep Weighing down on me Time and time I see how vicious the world can be Who we are, we are, we are We're beautiful Our flaws and all They're beautiful to me It's who we are, who we are It's who we're meant to be You've got to be you for yourself Cuz you're like nobody else Who you are, you are, you are, you are" The song is called "Who We Are". It has a wonderful message, because we all just want to be accepted in life for who we are. We may not have done everything perfectly, but no one has except Jesus.

You might have come to guess the truth. I have been called fat before. You don't know what that comment did to destroy my image of myself. I remember in high school I got invited to some pool parties. I wouldn’t even take off my shirt and swim! I wasn’t even swimming in front of the person who called me fat. I just sat on the sidelines and watched everyone else swim. They must have all thought I was afraid of the water. The thing is I LOVED to swim until that comment. I am sure that person meant nothing by it. I couldn’t let it go and move forward.

Another example, some of my so called friends called me gay before as well. I admit I don’t date a lot of girls. I haven’t found the right one yet. None of them are married yet; so I am guessing, they haven’t found the right one either.

How do you get through the comments? Well, you have to forgive them. It took me a lot of years to do just that. I have always been in a little bit of a box. I didn't want to get hurt by anyone. People are going to think what they are going to think no matter what. You have to just be yourselves. If they don't accept you find someone who will. God always will love you no matter what. He can always forgive you. I have been hard to get along with and I have said things I regret too. That's why it's important to forgive one another.

"But if a town refuses to welcome you, go out into its streets and say, ‘We wipe even the dust of your town from our feet to show that we have abandoned you to your fate. And know this—the Kingdom of God is near!’" Luke 10:10-11 (New Living Translation)

Some people hide their true selves, because they think people will like them more. The mask will eventually come off or it will fall off. Don't pretend to be someone you’re not. It's not worth it!

"You didn't choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won't spoil. As fruit bearers, whatever you ask the Father in relation to me, he gives you. John 15:16 (The Message)

If God choose you, why are you rejecting yourselves? There are a lot of people comparing ourselves to other people. You are an original. We all do things a little bit differently.

"Fear not, for you shall not be ashamed; neither be confounded and depressed, for you shall not be put to shame. For you shall forget the shame of your youth, and you shall not [seriously] remember the reproach of your widowhood any more." Isaiah 54:4 (Amplified Bible)

You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. Keep trying to do the right things in life. God loves you! Nothing can change that. Yes, you may need to change in some areas in your life. We all do. He will continue to work with us to bring the change we need. Keep on keeping on! He is your Healer. No problem is too big for OUR GOD!

“Stay alert, stand firm in the faith, show courage, be strong. Everything you do should be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14


With Love,
Andrew

Break Down Your Walls

The fears of life can be very overwhelming at times. We tend to fear the unknowns of life. I guess we realize we can’t control anything in life. If we could control everything we wouldn’t need a Savior.

The walls in life get build around our hearts to protect us from the outside. I have always seemed to put a wall around mine. I let in most of my family but some I think we tend to reject. Yes, we still see them but we don’t really love them for who they are. We’re busy in our own little world. We think they are different why let them in. Maybe they offended us; however, we don’t forgive the person. We think “oh who cares I will just stay away from them”. If I don’t talk to the person they can’t hurt me anymore; instead, we put up a wall to keep them out. We block them out forever, or at least until we see a reason to let them back in. Now, we might wake up in time to change, but what if they are stroked dead the next day. Tomorrow is way too late get to know the person.

I have been there most of my life and I know how the walls work. I have quite a few walls up myself. Why do we tend to block out our family members, antagonists, friends, and other church members? Are they really that different? I know people will hurt you by their comments. If have a choice to move on and forgive them.

Sometimes we are just so selfish including me. I have acted out a lot in life and burnt some bridges. I shut people who hurt me out of my life for good. I am not perfect and I have made a lot of mistakes. I guess the mistakes tell the stories. If it was a perfect day, every day with no problems, we would just find some other way to not be happy.

You can only run from people for so long. Eventually, you will have to face everything in life. Granted you can run forever in life if you choose too. You have freewill to do anything you want to do.

There’s a lot of pain and scary events in life to hide away from.

· Death

· Failing

· Unknown

· Rejection

· Parents Divorcing

· Bugs

That is only a very short list of fears people go through. I don’t know every fear out there and what is easy for you someone else might be afraid of it.

We don’t see what is behind the scenes in people lives. We only see the person they show us too be. There’s a lot of hurting people out there just turn on the news. You don’t have to turn on the news to hear about bad things you still hear the stories. The question is… will you help them?

I know your thinking why should I have problems of my own. You want to know the truth we all do. I don’t have anything to give to the hurting people. I didn’t say anything about giving away money. If they need it help them. Most people just need one thing love and acceptation. They are so different from me. Granted people are different, but that’s the beauty of life. Sorry, they can’t all be like you. I kind of glad about that if they were as quiet as me well… I guess the birds could do more talking than people. I know we all use the excuses. We can sometimes be experts in why we can’t help each other out.

People are the way they are because of things that make up their pasts. Some kids go through numerous problems in life.

· A kid kills himself because he thinks no one loves him.

· Another blames himself for their parents divorcing when he was little.

· Yet, a girl try’s to find love through sex and thinking oh he loves me.

· A parent dies and they don’t know how to handle it

· Peer pressure

· A little guy gets picked on in class and he now has a hard time trusting people

· His peers always reject him and never talk to him- they think he’s different

· The lie that drugs help you feel better about life

· Drinking to forget your problems

· Her father hits her every night

· A little girl is exploited into human trafficking

These problems are extremely real. Sometimes we wish they weren’t but they are. We don’t have control of some things in life but some things we do. Sometimes you have to dig to find the root of the problem and then work to change it.

We find our voids in so many different kinds of things. Most of those, things only fill you up for a limited time. We try the next thing, and the next thing, and still the next thing, and wait the next thing. Wait, let’s go back and try them all again. It’s only a temporary rush then it disappears. The question is it worth it?

We all make mistakes in life that’s why it’s important to forgive each other every day. If you hold on to the hurt you will just take it out on other people. Joyce Meyer once said, “Hurting people hurt people.”

Only God can truly fill you up in life. It takes Faith to trust God in times when your life is spinning out of control. We have to learn to trust God, since he is the only one who knows what’s best for us.

“Take my side, God—I'm getting kicked around, stomped on every day. Not a day goes by but somebody beats me up; They make it their duty to beat me up. When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. I'm proud to praise God; fearless now, I trust in God. What can mere mortals do?” Psalm 56:1-4 (The Message)

“My help and glory are in God —granite-strength and safe-harbor-God—So trust him absolutely, people; lay your lives on the line for him. God is a safe place to be.” Psalm 62:8 (The Message)

“The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” Proverbs 29:25 (The Message)

How do you break down your walls? The only way to break them down is to keep going through. Everyone has different stories from different areas of life. I haven’t shared most of my stories. I tend to draw back but I don’t have to hide. If people hurt you in life just keep forgiving them. Don’t shut people out of your life. Let them in! Yes, you might get hurt by people rejecting you. God is always there to help you heal your wounds and move on with your life.

God Bless,
Andrew