In Quiet: The Power
of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, Susan Cain discovered
that, “one third to one half of Americans are introverts” (Page 3). Susan Cain
admits that she is an introvert. Most of the world tends to look down on people
who are quiet and we call them shy. Quiet individuals are also many times compared
to extroverts and they wonder why we can’t be more outgoing like them. The book
is well researched and is backed up with tons of statistics and studies to
support her points. Susan Cain has found that people who are quiet enjoy
working alone instead of with a group. Introverts can be highly sensitive. Introverts
dislikes small talk and would prefer to be in more depth in conversations and
topics that inspire them and they connect with. Introverts are more incline to
pause and think before they speak because they don’t like to cause conflict.
Extroverts are the opposite they sometimes don’t think before they speak and they
don’t always listen to what introverts have to share. The book will prove that
the world needs both types of people to contribute to the wellbeing of the world.
Some of the introverted people displayed in the book were,
Rosa Parks, Albert Einstein, J.K. Rowling, Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss), Eleanor
Roosevelt, Al Gore, Warren Buffett, Gandhi, Moses, Charles Darwin, and many
more. Some of the extroverts were: Martin Luther King, Jr., Oprah, Dale Carnegie,
President George W. Bush, Tony Robbins, Bill Clinton, and many more. The book
will describe some of these famous people stories in vast details.
One
of my favorite quotes was an overview of the differences between introverts and
extroverts:
“Human extroverts have more sex partners than introverts
do- a boon to any species wanting to reproduce itself-but they commit more
adultery and divorce more frequently, which is not a good thing for the children
of all the couplings. Extroverts exercise more, but introverts suffer fewer
accidents and traumatic injuries. Extroverts enjoy wider networks of social
support, but commit more crimes (Page 148).
Susan Cain explored and travelled to public and private schools
in Georgia, New York, and Michigan to see how teachers are conducting their
classroom settings. A great number of teachers are believing that having group
work prepares students for the business world and it teaches them to work
together for a common goal. One classroom Susan visited had a sign on the wall that
said, “You Can’t Ask a Teacher for Help Unless Everyone in Your Group has the
Same Question” (Page 77). Another teacher made a quiet student become the
safety patrol for a day where he would have an opportunity to become a leader
too. But does everyone need to be a leader, don’t we need followers too.
A gigantic thing that I enjoyed was the section at the
end of the book entitled, “Resources for Readers”. Susan Cain communal tips for
parents with introverted children, educators, and public speaking for introverts.
One of the tips that I thought was really helpful was encouraging your child
when they seek out new activities, interactions, and friendships. Let them know
you saw the courage they demonstrated and you’re proud of them. If they are frightened
to try new things make sure to start small and don’t push your child too
quickly. Another big tip was don’t call your child shy because most of the time
our children take it as criticism and it will damage their self-esteem.
I would recommend this brilliant well researched book to
anyone who feels ashamed of being introverted or they feel bad that they are
called shy. Extroverts would greatly benefit from reading this book to better understand
the importance of having introverts in the business field. I immensely loved
the contrast shown between being introverted and extroverted and the reminder
that one isn’t better than the other. I loved how Susan Cain actually travelled
to different events and places to understand how different locations handle
people who are introverted in an extroverted world. The book deeply inspired me
to love my personality type. I’m an introvert and I realized that I think and
work better alone than when I’m in a group sharing ideas. I have also noticed
that if I’m passionate about a topic I will talk more and be willing to share
my opinions and concerns. If you’re looking for a book that will change your perspective
on the importance of needing both introverts and extroverts, then book will
inspire and encourage you to accept each other completely.
“I received this copy of Quiet for free from Random House/ WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing
Group for this review”.
If
you would like to purchase a copy of Quiet,
check it out on Amazon.com:
Here
is a Q&A featuring Susan Cain:
What
would be your advice for living with a spouse who is an introvert? Particularly
ways to solve disputes when only one side is willing to do any talking!
This is such an important question (and I address it at
length in the chapter in QUIET on introvert-extrovert relationships).
Introverts and extroverts are often attracted to each other as marriage
partners (for good reason), but they have dramatically different approaches to
conflict. Extroverts are what psychologists call “confrontive copers,” while
introverts tend to seek to defuse conflict. The problem is that the more
extroverts confront their introverted partners, the more aggressed the
introverts feel – and the more they withdraw, leaving their extroverted
partners feeling shut out in the cold. On the other hand, the more that
introverts try to defuse conflict with quiet talk, the more vehement their
extroverted partners grow in response – causing introverts to feel insulted or
attacked.
The only way out of this impasse is for each partner to
truly understand where the other is coming from, and to borrow the other’s
coping style. For an extrovert, this means airing grievances as quietly,
mildly, and respectfully as you can. And for introverts, this means engaging
head on with problems, even when this feels threatening and unpleasant. Good
luck, it’s worth it!
How
do you classify someone who prefers their own company and activities they can
do by themselves, but has forced themselves to act in a more extroverted way?
I enjoy being alone and love reading and creative
writing. However, in order to promote and build my dental practice, I have made
myself participate in community activities, and in order to be a more active
part of my childrens' lives I am part of a group of parents that work and play
together. I even enjoy these activities, all the while thinking that I'd rather
be home alone with my husband and kids, curled up by a toasty fire with a good
book or sharing a movie with them. Have I remade myself into an extrovert or
just putting on an act?
It sounds like you’re an introvert who’s gotten really
good at acting like a pseduo-extrovert – and nothing wrong with that, if it
serves goals that matter to you (your dental practice, your kids’ social life.)
Just make sure to get the quiet time you need – and that your family probably
needs, too.
What
do extraverts need to understand most about introverts?
When they don’t engage animatedly with you, this doesn’t
mean that they don’t like or love you! They just need to recharge their
batteries frequently, and might be less demonstrative than you are. Look for
signs of quiet passion!
As
an extrovert married to an introvert, how can I make his social experiences
more satisfying and less stressful?
What a great and caring question. Well, for one thing, make
sure there aren’t too many of them. No introvert enjoys going out night after
night…but they might really enjoy the right social events in measured doses.
The best experiences tend to be with close friends, or based on events that are
of intrinsic interest – eg a movie, a concert, etc.
How
do you see introverts having any type of an impact on our predominately
extrovert society?
They already do! Many of our finest leaders and artists
have been introverts. It’s usually a matter of making your own natural
strengths work for you (for example, the Campbell Soup CEO Doug Conant was
famous for writing 30,000 personal notes of thanks to high-performing
employees) while gaining the skills you need to fake extroversion when you need
to.
Also, social media is an introvert’s friend – it’s a way
of connecting with tens, hundreds, thousands of people from the comfort of your
own home or office.
Ted
Talk – Video:
More
Info:
Read
Chapter One:
Author
Bio:
Check
out the reading guide:
Posts
