Andrew Smith's Blog

Book, Music, and Movie Reviews

Showing posts with label abusive relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abusive relationship. Show all posts

The Return of Cassandra Todd: A Novel By Darrel Nelson Book Review


 
Turner Caldwell lives in Lakewood, Colorado and works as a handyman for a local motel and he is a college student. One day, a former high school classmate, Cassandra Todd arrived at the motel where he works. Cassandra was an attractive cheerleader in high school who Turner secretly liked. Turner Caldwell’s childhood pain is tempting to resurface and he will have to deal with the past before he can attain a better future. Turner like most kids had to endure getting tormented by bullies in high school. The main bully, Brad Duncan tripped Turner in the cafeteria and caused Turner to do a face drive into his pancakes and syrup. Brad then gave him the nickname, Pancake Turner and the name stuck throughout high school. Turner felt so embarrassed by this incidence and he hated how everyone made fun of him and pitied him. All he wanted was acceptance and instead he was criticized. Cassandra Todd also saw the entire scene unfold.

 

Cassandra Todd is married to an abusive controlling husband, Brad. He worked in the construction industry and he built houses until in 2008, the economy crashed. Shortly after, Cassandra got pregnant with their first child, Justin. Brad slowly started changing and his tempter was getting out of control. Brad eventually started to get to rough and began pushing and shoving her, then it escalated to him hitting her and leaving bruises. Brad enjoyed being in charge and he checked their bank account regularly to keep an eye on his wife’s spending. He lost his cool and pushed her when she bought a cheap outfit for their son. The bruises and the beating were getting worst and she said she was going to leave him. He instigated and threatened to have their son taken away from her. One of her biggest fears was that Brad was going to hurt Justin. Finally, she left him in the middle of the night with her son and arrived at the motel and reconnected with Turner.

 

Turner is torn in helping her and is struggling to deal and heal from the old wounds of bullying. Brad has hired two thugs to find his wife whereabouts and he is desperate to find their son. Turner stepped up to the plate and is determined to protect Cassandra and Justin. Will they make it out alive? Or will they be captured or worst killed?

 

I would recommend this suspense filled novel to anyone who is looking for a book that will capture your attention. As I was reading the book, I felt like I was living the country adventure alongside Turner, Cassandra, and Justin. Darrel Nelson did an excellence job at writing the chapters in thrilling details. I immensely loved the plot and storyline because it covered real life everyday problems that some people having to face tough things like spouse abuse and bullying. The book showed the importance of protecting our children from harm and I believe it can offer encouragement to people who are facing abuse and bullying right now. The book showed how the love of Christ can make an impact on someone’s life. Cassandra believed in God and prayed with her son throughout the book. Turner had trouble praying to God when he still blamed God for letting his mother die from cancer. The book at times made me very upset and I wanted to jump in the novel and shield Justin and Cassandra from the physical and emotional abuse from Brad myself. The father and husband almost came out of me (and I’m not a dad or a husband yet) and it’s hard for me to understand how someone could hurt an innocent child and their wife who they said their vows to. But I know it happens every single day. The book is raw and real for today’s times and readers will be able to relate to the characters and the storyline. If you’re looking for a new novel to read, then read this one! This is the best fiction novel, I have read in a while it kept me engaged and I didn’t want the novel to end. I wish the author would make the novel into a series.



 
“I received this book for free from Charisma House/ Realms for this review”.
 

 

If you would like to purchase a copy of The Return of Cassandra Todd, then check it out on Amazon.com or Christian Book.com:

 


 

 

 

When A Woman You Love Was Abused: A Husband’s Guide to Helping Her Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation By Dawn Scott Jones Blog Tour and Book Review


 
My Thoughts:

When A Woman You Love Was Abused is written to direct husband’s on how to deal with and help their wife triumph over sexual abuse. The book proved and supported the heartbreaking facts with statistics that were very eye-opening. “One in three girls have encountered sexual abuse.  For boys, the statistics are vague. Some estimates reflect numbers as high as one in three boys to one in seven boys encountering sexual abuse or unwanted sexual contact. The generally accepted figure for boys is one in six” (Page 31). It made me realized that every single day, I am most likely passing by strangers who are carrying the heavy load of sexual abuse, and I could even be friends with someone that they were victim of sexual molestation, and I had no idea of the pain they are in.

 

The book is written by Dawn Scott Jones and she knows firsthand the affects of being abused. Her own father molested her and he said, “I want to teach you what to do that someday you’ll be able to do this for your husband” (Page 22). She was also taught how to get a Kleenex and clean up. Reading her story was shocking, unbelievable, and I can’t imagine how someone could do that to their own daughter.

 

I would recommend this book to anybody who was sexual abused. The book is geared more towards assisting the husband’s to comprehend what their wife has experienced through sexual molestation. But husband and wife should undeniably work through this book together. This book has the impact of helping marriages to vastly improve and heal if these lessons are put into practices. I am currently only 22 years old, I’m not married, and I don’t have any children. I choose to review this book for three reasons. One reason was to understand how to help marriages heal after sexual abuse and the second reason was to have guidance and understanding of the throbbing pain of their childhood molestation they were going through. I also read it just in case my wife was sexual abused by someone. I pray to God that hasn’t happened to my future wife and I pray it doesn’t happen to anyone else! But knowledge helps me to prepare for marriage and whatever she might have had to face in her life. So if you’re like me and wanted to read this book to be prepared to help someone else then this book will benefit you too!

 

This book is an excellence resource for husband’s to understand what their wife is going through and why she struggles with healing from the past haunting memories of her abuser.  It’s extremely imperative to listen to her and keep reminding her that what her abuser did to her wasn’t her fault and she didn’t deserve to be inappropriately touched sexual or raped. Remind her that you still love her, and you always will, and tell her that you will protect her, and you will be right there by her side. Also most victims of molestation suffer from loving their bodies because they feel betrayed and taken advantage of. Because let’s face it they were treated unfairly and they didn’t deserve it! It’s vital for husband’s to repeatedly tell their wife’s that they are beautiful and you love her smile, eyes, and describe a character trait that you love that she possesses.

 

Another aspect that I thought was helpful was letting husband’s know that it’s difficult for her to enjoy sexual love making experiences in a marriage. It takes time of her to heal and a touch can easily bring back a painful flashback. It doesn’t mean she hates you if she says not tonight or she withdraws from you when you touch her. Most of the time she’s trying to protect herself from her abuser and the painful memories. Men, you may begin to take it as rejection when you’re wife get depressed and hides from you and you will likely get mad at her abuser from destroying your wife’s self-esteem. The book goes through what the woman you love is experiencing and it also addresses what men are feeling.  Always remember you’re not alone there’s a lot of people that are going through sexual abuse aftermaths and they are survivors.  If you need help or someone you know needs help with overcoming sexual abuse, I encourage you to read this book!

 

“I received this book for free from Litfuse Publicity Group/ Kregel Publications for this review”.

 

 

About the Book:

 

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 80 percent of childhood abuse victims later suffer from at least one abuse-induced psychological disorder. It's proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow women into adulthood. Yet few men are prepared to deal with those effects, even when their own wife is the one who is suffering. And their wife's suffering becomes their own suffering as their needs aren't being met by a wife who is powerless to control her inner turmoil.

 

 

Author, pastor, and survivor Dawn Scott Jones candidly shares her own abuse experience to help husbands understand the varied emotions, fears, distorted thoughts, and triggers that hold their wives captive. In practical and accessible language, Jones explains the stages of the healing journey (processing denial, asking for help, grieving, expressing anger, learning to forgive, and finding resolution). Building on that knowledge, Jones then moves to an honest discussion of what husbands can do to help. Whether it's creating a healing environment, understanding the need for control, building trust, or even just praying for healing, a husband plays an active role in helping his wife survive and thrive despite her past abuse.

 

Offering hope for a healthy marriage relationship, When a Woman You Love Was Abused answers the questions men have and offers the advice they need to help their wives finally find peace.

 

 

 

Meet Dawn:

 

 

For over twenty years God has graciously used Dawn to touch the lives of people through her affecting personal testimony, her humor, and her writing. Dawn’s past challenges have deepened and enriched her ministry; enabling her to truly understand and relate to what others are going through.

 

Dawn is an Ordained Minister with the Assemblies of God. She has served in various capacities including Executive Team Pastor, Small Groups Pastor, and Woman’s Ministry Director. Dawn travels Nation-wide speaking, training and consulting.

 

 

Find out more about Dawn Scott at http://www.dawnjones.org/

 

Blog Tour Schedule:

 


 

Link to buy the book:

 


 

About the Live Webcast:

 

 

In coordination with the launch of their fall releases, Kregel will be hosting a live webcast event on September 20 at 8 PM EDT featuring authors Kim Ketola (Cradle My Heart), Teske Drake (Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow), and Dawn Scott Jones (When a Woman You Love Was Abused). The webcast will allow women to come together to share their struggles and fears in order to move toward healing and hope. Women will able to support one another and discuss shared experiences in a non-threatening, open and loving environment.

 

Cat Hoort of Kregel says, ""We are seeking to provide safe means for Christian women to be vulnerable with each other, to seek help and guidance from authors and counselors, and to find encouragement from those who have shared similar experiences. Our hope is that the Women Redeemed webcast will become a forum for hurting women as well as for those who can help. Kim, Teske, and Dawn are all survivors and their stories will surely inspire and equip other women to move toward healing and hope."

 

To register for the event, just click here.

I Don’t Get Wholeness… That’s the Problem: Making Relationships Work By Paula White Book Review


In I Don’t Get Wholeness… That’s the Problem, Paula White looks at the fundamentals of healthy relationships that we permit in our life. Paula White has had to endure and overcome the negative voices who tried to tear her down and stop her from fulfilling her destiny. Her father committed suicide when she was just five years old and she also suffered from being sexual abused by other men in her life. She learned how to start developing healthy relationships that pushed her to go further and higher. In healthy relationships, we must have the freedom to be ourselves, let others be themselves, and display the concept of letting others change and grow. The book is written to help readers to achieve wholeness first and to receive what God declares about us. If you’re not whole, then your relationships won’t be whole and healthy either. It’s vital that we stop looking for outside sources to repair the inner issues. She also explored three ways to break generational curses that have been placed by previous generations. Nine keys to healthy relationships were included in this book to demonstrate what wholeness actually looks like.



Some of my favorite quotes are:

“If I am going to change my behavior, I have to change my beliefs” (Page 32).



“If you don’t acknowledge the inaccurate message in your life, you cannot defeat it” (Page 75).



“When God wants to bless you, He sends a person into your life. When Satan wants to mess you up, he sends a person into your life” (Page 91).



“You cannot conquer what you don’t confront, and you cannot confront what you don’t identify” (Page 107).



I would recommend this life enlightening book to anyone struggling to form healthy relationships. This book showed readers how to identity dysfunctional family patterns and relationships. I found that I have to state my expectations when I enter into relationships. I realized that one of the reasons is because I fear being let down and disappointed. The book revealed that I have trouble receiving compliments but it’s ironic if they speak something negative, I receive it as truth! This book was extremely helpful in exposing many of the lies that I have believed and I realized that I have to replace the lies with the truth of God’s Word. Strongholds were broken when I started standing and rejecting the lies! The generational curses chapter assisted me in stopping the curses from repeating. The book enclosed tons of scriptures to breaking the past curses from my forefathers. Blessing can actually be released! If you’re longing to be completely whole in your relationships then this book will be a huge benefit in helping you obtain wholeness! I loved how Paula White isn’t a preacher and an author who tells you what you want to hear! She isn’t afraid to confront the dysfunctional issues and she speaks the truth that we desperately don’t need sugarcoated or downplayed. If this astonishing book is applied it can truly change the structure of your relationships! Healthy relationships will be established.





If you would like to purchase a copy of I Don’t Get Wholeness… That’s the Problem then check it out on Amazon.com:

  

Break Through: When to Give In, and When to Push Back By Tim Clinton and Pat Springle Book Review



In Break Through, Tim Clinton and Pat Springle explored the concept of learning how to handle enmeshment relationships. Throughout the book readers will be trained to see and identify counterfeit love patterns. Everyone has had to deal with people who want to be one up from you. We also have seen the people who lie down and follow all of the manipulator’s requests and demands. This book will show you how to have courage to stand up and not feel pressured to give in to their threats. The book contained countless stories from real situations that people were facing from setting boundaries and meeting disagreements head-on. Some had trouble calling problems what they truly were and they blamed themselves for the whole relationships problems. The other person should have taken responsibility for their actions. This book has very helpful questions for readers to help them to face the truth they may have been avoiding to see.



I would recommend this book to anyone who is having trouble finding a balance between helping others. If you’re having problems with setting correct boundaries, then this book will have enormous benefits for you. I was taught by reading this book that you’re not being selfish when you say no to a request. Sometimes it’s important that we say no boldly and with confidence! Its fine to help others when we can, but we have to be careful about claiming and carrying the load that they should be carrying.



The book goes on to discuss the four ways of trusting we have the heroes, the turtles, the field marshals, and the adults. Reading this book has revealed to me that I am struggle with being passive distrusting in my relationships. I avoid conflict with people that I know I must learn to confront and stand up to. I have seen the light of one particular family member that tends to expect me to give into their demands. They would constantly text and call me many times because they wanted me to desperately assist in their endeavors, while they would watch and facilitate. They always expected me and others to help them accomplish things they are able to do for themselves. I became what Tim and Pat called a turtle in my trusting ways. I would withdraw from relationships in order to protect myself from having to engage in conflict, I had a fear of disappointing others, and I didn’t form many close friendships.



This book opened my eyes to seeing that I must set healthy boundaries and limit my time with people who are determined to cross them. It isn’t my responsibility to be the Savior in their lives. The book encouraged turtles like me to stand up and speak the truth and to keep moving forward even if you’re afraid of being hurt. This book has immensely impacted the way that I am going to confront what I must face!



"I received this book for free from Worthy Publishing/Handlebar Marketing for this review".





Read Chapter One:







About the Author:




Dr. Tim Clinton, LPC, LMFT, is president of the nearly 50,000-member American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) and founder of Light University Online, which has over 160,000 students enrolled. He is also the professor of counseling and executive director of the Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty University.







Watch a Trailer Video for Break Through:









 Hear An Author Interview from Tim Clinton:







If you would like to purchase a copy of Break Through check it out on one of the sites below: