My
Review:
In Not Quite Healed,
Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe has collaborated together to write a book to guide male
readers and victims in healing from sexual abuse and molestation. Both Cecil
and Gary are victims of sexual abuse so this book is from personal experience
and their journey towards healing. The book covered forty life changing truths
that will benefit and help victims to heal from the heartbreaking pain they
have experienced. An important note for victims of sexual abuse is to understand
is that they can’t get frustrated and think that they should be healed by now. The
authors pointed out that healing is an extensive process and it takes time. Perpetrators
are able to find children who are desperately seeking and needing love. They
move into innocence children lives and prey on their emotions. They are the adults
in authority and they strive for gaining the small child trust so they can use
them for their own selfish pleasure. Some victims even struggle with same-sex
attraction because of the sexual abuse they had to endure.
Cecil’s father was out of work for a few months and food
was hard to come by. The pedophile took advantage of the opportunity to bribe Cecil
with food. When Cecil was six, the perpetrator lured him into his room and fed
him raspberry jam on saltine crackers while he sat on his lap. He told him that
he was special and his words affirmed him. Cecil didn’t get held much as a
child and craved to be held in someone’s arms and loved. He describe what soft
skin he had and he kept brushing his hair. The perpetrator also abused some of
his other five siblings. The flashbacks didn’t resurfaced until many years
later. He also began remembering that a female relative also abused him. Both
sexual abuse affected and changed his life. He struggled with feeling worthless
and he like most victims he believed the lies that it was his fault.
Gary was also raped by a few pedophiles. He thought that
if he succeed enough and he outperformed other children the sexual abuse would
stop. This was one of his biggest lies that he believed. He made straight A’s
and won medals and awards in swimming. He also ranked in the top ten in the
nation for being an excellence swimmer. He was living for the approval of other
people and he wanted to urgently please his perpetrators by overachieving. Years
later, his counselor assisted in helping Gary to confront one of his pedophile.
He did and the perpetrator openly said he didn’t abuse him.
The book shared a number of other people’s stories that
people have shared on Cecil’s blog to reveal how pedophiles gained access to
their victims and what they have went through. One of the heartbreaking
accounts shared was how a pastor tied an innocence boy up and raped him to get
the devil out of him. Another story disclosed was how a brother made his little
brother view pornography magazines with him. The older brother insisted that he
needed to show his little brother how people make love. Later he also suffered
sexual abuse from other perpetrators.
I would recommend this superb book on how to handle
healing from sexual abuse to any males who were abused. It is a magnificent resource
for any survivors and it will instill with them 40 truths that they need to comprehend.
This book could also benefit women who are wanting to understand how to help
the male victims that they know. I haven’t personally experienced sexual abuse
firsthand. I immensely thought that the lies presented in this book will help victims
to recognize the lies their perpetrators have told them. Some of the lies were,
“It felt good, so it couldn’t be abuse, my babysitter didn’t abuse me, boys can’t
be victims, women don’t molest boys, he was nice and bought me things, so it
wasn’t abuse, it’s my fault, I’ll never be a real man”, and many more. These
lies will guide the readers into discovering what lies they have believed about
the sexual abuse and their perpetrators. I also loved how the book included a
whole list of the 40 truths and affirmations at the end of the book. Survivors
would vastly benefit from declaring these truths aloud. If you know a male that
has suffered from an act of sexual abuse, then please pick this book up for
them!
Book
Info:
Survivors of sexual
abuse face a long road to recovery. With every bump and bruise and setback,
they may wonder if total healing is even possible. In fact, the feeling that “I
should be healed by now” is one that every survivor will have to deal with at some
time. A survivor himself, Cecil Murphey writes, “I absolutely affirm that God
can produce such a miracle. I don’t know of any, but I still think that it is
possible.”
So
how are survivors to overcome the challenges they are sure to face? Finding
strength in community with other survivors is one key to recovery. In Not
Quite Healed, two survivors join forces to share insight and encouragement
on the issues that challenge them most. After a candid discussion about each
issue, the authors provide a self-affirming statement that men can study,
memorize, and recite on their darkest days—statements such as:
-Forgiveness is a difficult task for me, but it’s a simple thing for God.
-Accountability is the first step to livability.
-God wants to heal my pain to bring healing to others.
-Forgiveness is a difficult task for me, but it’s a simple thing for God.
-Accountability is the first step to livability.
-God wants to heal my pain to bring healing to others.
Whether
men are struggling with relying on God, living behind a mask, dealing with
flashbacks and recurring dreams, or learning to forgive, Cecil Murphey and Gary
Roe offer hope and comfort for the ongoing journey of recovery from sexual
abuse.
"I received this book free from the
publisher from Kregel Publications book review bloggers program."
If
you would like to purchase a copy of Not
Quite Healed, check it on Amazon.com:
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