When A Woman You Love Was Abused is written to direct husband’s on how to deal with and help their wife triumph over sexual abuse. The book proved and supported the heartbreaking facts with statistics that were very eye-opening. “One in three girls have encountered sexual abuse. For boys, the statistics are vague. Some estimates reflect numbers as high as one in three boys to one in seven boys encountering sexual abuse or unwanted sexual contact. The generally accepted figure for boys is one in six” (Page 31). It made me realized that every single day, I am most likely passing by strangers who are carrying the heavy load of sexual abuse, and I could even be friends with someone that they were victim of sexual molestation, and I had no idea of the pain they are in.
The book is written by Dawn Scott Jones and she knows firsthand the affects of being abused. Her own father molested her and he said, “I want to teach you what to do that someday you’ll be able to do this for your husband” (Page 22). She was also taught how to get a Kleenex and clean up. Reading her story was shocking, unbelievable, and I can’t imagine how someone could do that to their own daughter.
I would recommend this book to anybody who was sexual abused. The book is geared more towards assisting the husband’s to comprehend what their wife has experienced through sexual molestation. But husband and wife should undeniably work through this book together. This book has the impact of helping marriages to vastly improve and heal if these lessons are put into practices. I am currently only 22 years old, I’m not married, and I don’t have any children. I choose to review this book for three reasons. One reason was to understand how to help marriages heal after sexual abuse and the second reason was to have guidance and understanding of the throbbing pain of their childhood molestation they were going through. I also read it just in case my wife was sexual abused by someone. I pray to God that hasn’t happened to my future wife and I pray it doesn’t happen to anyone else! But knowledge helps me to prepare for marriage and whatever she might have had to face in her life. So if you’re like me and wanted to read this book to be prepared to help someone else then this book will benefit you too!
This book is an excellence resource for husband’s to understand what their wife is going through and why she struggles with healing from the past haunting memories of her abuser. It’s extremely imperative to listen to her and keep reminding her that what her abuser did to her wasn’t her fault and she didn’t deserve to be inappropriately touched sexual or raped. Remind her that you still love her, and you always will, and tell her that you will protect her, and you will be right there by her side. Also most victims of molestation suffer from loving their bodies because they feel betrayed and taken advantage of. Because let’s face it they were treated unfairly and they didn’t deserve it! It’s vital for husband’s to repeatedly tell their wife’s that they are beautiful and you love her smile, eyes, and describe a character trait that you love that she possesses.
Another aspect that I thought was helpful was letting husband’s know that it’s difficult for her to enjoy sexual love making experiences in a marriage. It takes time of her to heal and a touch can easily bring back a painful flashback. It doesn’t mean she hates you if she says not tonight or she withdraws from you when you touch her. Most of the time she’s trying to protect herself from her abuser and the painful memories. Men, you may begin to take it as rejection when you’re wife get depressed and hides from you and you will likely get mad at her abuser from destroying your wife’s self-esteem. The book goes through what the woman you love is experiencing and it also addresses what men are feeling. Always remember you’re not alone there’s a lot of people that are going through sexual abuse aftermaths and they are survivors. If you need help or someone you know needs help with overcoming sexual abuse, I encourage you to read this book!
“I received this book for free from Litfuse Publicity Group/ Kregel Publications for this review”.
About the Book:
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services reports that 80 percent of childhood abuse victims later suffer from at least one abuse-induced psychological disorder. It's proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow women into adulthood. Yet few men are prepared to deal with those effects, even when their own wife is the one who is suffering. And their wife's suffering becomes their own suffering as their needs aren't being met by a wife who is powerless to control her inner turmoil.
Author, pastor, and survivor Dawn Scott Jones candidly shares her own abuse experience to help husbands understand the varied emotions, fears, distorted thoughts, and triggers that hold their wives captive. In practical and accessible language, Jones explains the stages of the healing journey (processing denial, asking for help, grieving, expressing anger, learning to forgive, and finding resolution). Building on that knowledge, Jones then moves to an honest discussion of what husbands can do to help. Whether it's creating a healing environment, understanding the need for control, building trust, or even just praying for healing, a husband plays an active role in helping his wife survive and thrive despite her past abuse.
Offering hope for a healthy marriage relationship, When a Woman You Love Was Abused answers the questions men have and offers the advice they need to help their wives finally find peace.
For over twenty years God has graciously used Dawn to touch the lives of people through her affecting personal testimony, her humor, and her writing. Dawn’s past challenges have deepened and enriched her ministry; enabling her to truly understand and relate to what others are going through.
Dawn is an Ordained Minister with the Assemblies of God. She has served in various capacities including Executive Team Pastor, Small Groups Pastor, and Woman’s Ministry Director. Dawn travels Nation-wide speaking, training and consulting.
Find out more about Dawn Scott at http://www.dawnjones.org/
Blog Tour Schedule:
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About the Live Webcast:
In coordination with the launch of their fall releases, Kregel will be hosting a live webcast event on September 20 at 8 PM EDT featuring authors Kim Ketola (Cradle My Heart), Teske Drake (Hope for Today, Promises for Tomorrow), and Dawn Scott Jones (When a Woman You Love Was Abused). The webcast will allow women to come together to share their struggles and fears in order to move toward healing and hope. Women will able to support one another and discuss shared experiences in a non-threatening, open and loving environment.
Cat Hoort of Kregel says, ""We are seeking to provide safe means for Christian women to be vulnerable with each other, to seek help and guidance from authors and counselors, and to find encouragement from those who have shared similar experiences. Our hope is that the Women Redeemed webcast will become a forum for hurting women as well as for those who can help. Kim, Teske, and Dawn are all survivors and their stories will surely inspire and equip other women to move toward healing and hope."
To register for the event, just click here.