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Not Quite Healed: 40 Truths for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse By Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe Book Review

My Review:

In Not Quite Healed, Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe has collaborated together to write a book to guide male readers and victims in healing from sexual abuse and molestation. Both Cecil and Gary are victims of sexual abuse so this book is from personal experience and their journey towards healing. The book covered forty life changing truths that will benefit and help victims to heal from the heartbreaking pain they have experienced. An important note for victims of sexual abuse is to understand is that they can’t get frustrated and think that they should be healed by now. The authors pointed out that healing is an extensive process and it takes time. Perpetrators are able to find children who are desperately seeking and needing love. They move into innocence children lives and prey on their emotions. They are the adults in authority and they strive for gaining the small child trust so they can use them for their own selfish pleasure. Some victims even struggle with same-sex attraction because of the sexual abuse they had to endure.


Cecil’s father was out of work for a few months and food was hard to come by. The pedophile took advantage of the opportunity to bribe Cecil with food. When Cecil was six, the perpetrator lured him into his room and fed him raspberry jam on saltine crackers while he sat on his lap. He told him that he was special and his words affirmed him. Cecil didn’t get held much as a child and craved to be held in someone’s arms and loved. He describe what soft skin he had and he kept brushing his hair. The perpetrator also abused some of his other five siblings. The flashbacks didn’t resurfaced until many years later. He also began remembering that a female relative also abused him. Both sexual abuse affected and changed his life. He struggled with feeling worthless and he like most victims he believed the lies that it was his fault.


Gary was also raped by a few pedophiles. He thought that if he succeed enough and he outperformed other children the sexual abuse would stop. This was one of his biggest lies that he believed. He made straight A’s and won medals and awards in swimming. He also ranked in the top ten in the nation for being an excellence swimmer. He was living for the approval of other people and he wanted to urgently please his perpetrators by overachieving. Years later, his counselor assisted in helping Gary to confront one of his pedophile. He did and the perpetrator openly said he didn’t abuse him.


The book shared a number of other people’s stories that people have shared on Cecil’s blog to reveal how pedophiles gained access to their victims and what they have went through. One of the heartbreaking accounts shared was how a pastor tied an innocence boy up and raped him to get the devil out of him. Another story disclosed was how a brother made his little brother view pornography magazines with him. The older brother insisted that he needed to show his little brother how people make love. Later he also suffered sexual abuse from other perpetrators.


I would recommend this superb book on how to handle healing from sexual abuse to any males who were abused. It is a magnificent resource for any survivors and it will instill with them 40 truths that they need to comprehend. This book could also benefit women who are wanting to understand how to help the male victims that they know. I haven’t personally experienced sexual abuse firsthand. I immensely thought that the lies presented in this book will help victims to recognize the lies their perpetrators have told them. Some of the lies were, “It felt good, so it couldn’t be abuse, my babysitter didn’t abuse me, boys can’t be victims, women don’t molest boys, he was nice and bought me things, so it wasn’t abuse, it’s my fault, I’ll never be a real man”, and many more. These lies will guide the readers into discovering what lies they have believed about the sexual abuse and their perpetrators. I also loved how the book included a whole list of the 40 truths and affirmations at the end of the book. Survivors would vastly benefit from declaring these truths aloud. If you know a male that has suffered from an act of sexual abuse, then please pick this book up for them!

Book Info:

Survivors of sexual abuse face a long road to recovery. With every bump and bruise and setback, they may wonder if total healing is even possible. In fact, the feeling that “I should be healed by now” is one that every survivor will have to deal with at some time. A survivor himself, Cecil Murphey writes, “I absolutely affirm that God can produce such a miracle. I don’t know of any, but I still think that it is possible.”

So how are survivors to overcome the challenges they are sure to face? Finding strength in community with other survivors is one key to recovery. In Not Quite Healed, two survivors join forces to share insight and encouragement on the issues that challenge them most. After a candid discussion about each issue, the authors provide a self-affirming statement that men can study, memorize, and recite on their darkest days—statements such as:
-Forgiveness is a difficult task for me, but it’s a simple thing for God.
-Accountability is the first step to livability.
-God wants to heal my pain to bring healing to others.

Whether men are struggling with relying on God, living behind a mask, dealing with flashbacks and recurring dreams, or learning to forgive, Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe offer hope and comfort for the ongoing journey of recovery from sexual abuse.



"I received this book free from the publisher from Kregel Publications book review bloggers program."


If you would like to purchase a copy of Not Quite Healed, check it on



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